embracing uncertainty

today at 9:30 am, my little sister gave birth to a perfect, pink baby girl. she gave my niece a boy's name, which, actually, is a beautiful name for a girl. she opted for a natural birth, without painkillers. she did not know the sex of her child beforehand. she is not married to the father.
i love her strength and unconventionality! i love that the whole time that she carried the baby, she knew that, when the time came for her to deliver, she would not get an epidural but instead will bear down and feel every pain. i love that she didn't want to know the sex of the baby. it would have been convenient to know, so that she could decorate the child's room, buy it appropriate clothes, and give it a name. but instead, she chose to preserve the surprise of the birth moment (a once-in-a-lifetime moment) and the honesty of her elation when the doctor announces the sex of the baby. i loved getting the phone call today telling me "it's a girl!" and i wouldn't want it any other way.
i also love that my sister isn't married to the father of her daughter. my niece was created out of the semi-casual, semi-serious sex that sometimes occurs between friends, which is, in actuality, based on genuine mutual affection. i love that, instead of rushing to the alter to marry the father, my sister decided instead to focus her energy on the baby. i admire her courage in defying the convention and doing what she felt was the right thing for her. it took guts to stand by her decision not to get married, with the knowledge that it meant that she might be raising her daughter alone.
i suppose that what i admire about my sister and her choices is that it took integrity, self-confidence, and poise to make those unconventional decisions. it is scary to embrace uncertainty, yet my sister did it with joy and purpose. and in the end, i view her particular experience as somehow more meaningful than more conventional pregnancy and delivery experiences. and to be honest, i am almost positive that i would not be able to do it like she did. and so i admire her all the more.