my new skin

first of all, i have to say that i am writing this while sitting on the floor in the hall outside my bedroom where the baby is napping. he's REALLY napping -- meaning that he's actually in his bassinet and not just sleeping in my arms. and he's been there for a WHOLE HOUR already which is something close to a miracle these days. i seem to have a baby who doesn't "take naps" but rather, sleeps for a while in my arms but wakes up screaming if i try to put him down. i think he gets it from his high-maintenance sleeper dad, not me, who can sleep anywhere, anytime, forever and ever. so this is a delicious treat. must type fast.

today i wanted to record a thought i've been having a lot lately, and that is that i feel so comfortable in my mother skin. i slipped into this mother role and it was like slipping into a favorite pair of jeans. i've never been really into fashion- tshirts and jeans are pretty much my standard. and now i don't have to worry that i dress like a mom because i AM a mom! i also kind of love my mom pooch. it's very different from the "i eat out too much and drink too much beer" pooch that i've always had. this pooch is so much cuter because it's a mom pooch and it came from my pregnancy. i've been doing situps, but only halfheartedly. :)

as i noted, our M is not really a great napper (although he does pretty well sleeping at night), so i spend a lot of time with him over my shoulder, patting his bum and walking around with him while he "naps." i find myself stopping and looking in a mirror to see if his eyes are open or shut and i see this MOM looking back at me. i swear i look different! despite being more tired than i've ever been in my life, i feel like i look more present. and beautiful in the way that moms are beautiful when they hold their children and pat their bums and sing to them.

anyway, i hear the little one snorting, must run!