post party fat

this weekend, some of my favorite girlfriends and i threw a bachelorette party for another of our girlfriends, who is getting married in three short weeks. it was one of those nights, those special nights that you remember (or not) forever as "good times." it's not so much the details that i will remember, but the feeling of anticipation and excitement, the rush of feeling like you can do anything.

it occurred to me the morning after, when i was eating a cheeseburger, fries, and banana shake with the girls (oh yes i did) that i rarely feel like that anymore. when i was much younger, it seemed like every day was an adventure, a new experience, and i was on the verge of something so great. i was just waiting for something good to happen to me. in college, adventures became the norm, and the special-ness of everyday life waned into a general "fun time" with a undertone of worry (am i going to make it out of here in one piece?). now that i am a working person, i sense that the worry has become highpitched (what is going to become of me? am i going to become one of those people who cannot escape a routine, except to take a 2-week vacation once a year?), and feeling like i am on the verge of something great is almost nonexistent.

how can i bottle the bachelorette party night feeling? maybe i have to settle for knowing that each week of my life is a collection of small moments that are great. like the thursday morning "food and wine" section of the newspaper, getting a phone call from a long-lost friend in san francisco, seeing my 5-month-old niece for the second time.

and the morning after the bachelorette party, when i ate so much post party fat that i literally got high and dissolved into a mess of uncontrollable laughter.